Think before emigrating

The post from Yasir Imran’s blog that I re-blogged yesterday reminded me of a real story from our neighbourhood.  Back in my childhood, I remember a nice family who were well-known for their spic-span life style, yeah, very neat and clean, disciplined and well-mannered.  In fact, this one and ours were the only two families so similar in this regard with a difference that our house was open for everyone and everyone was given the due respect.

In the language of Karachi, they were from Dehli, husband and wife and three sons and two daughters.  The eldest son was a 99% copy of Waheed Murad.  Rather than great, he had a clean taste of everything.  Always well-dressed, he had a style like decent hero.  He was very talented and was blessed with skillful hobbies.  He loved to beautify things.  He made the wooden shelves for books, dinner/cutlery sets and other stuff.  He fixed beautiful curtain rods.  He made his own pencil sketch.  After his job, he was found busy in something constructive with a smile on his face.  The other siblings were also nice.

Then he got a chance to go to Saudi Arabia.  He was very happy with that.  I remember very little, he came to my mom and said, “baji pray for me, this is a very good opportunity for me to do something for my family….”.

As the time passed, we saw them becoming luxurious.  They spent a lot at the wedding of their daughter, the second born.  The dinner was catered with the dishes that were considered very splendid at that time, like fried fish.

In short, he came on a short visit once and came to our house.  He was sad.  The family saved nothing for the future.  They sold this house in our neighbourhood and bought another somewhere else.  Mother died of caner in the mean time.  Another brother and sister also got married.  His collection and belongings were lost and I think that he didn’t care about that anymore.

Finally, few more years and he lost his contract.  As he returned, shocking news were waiting for him.  His youngest brother had become a drug addict because nobody cared about his education.  The eldest sister wasn’t happy in her house, her husband was a complete jerk.  The other sister was financially down.  The other brother had four little daughters and not enough income to survive.

With a tears in his eyes, he decided to become a bus driver.  Then the siblings forced him to get married and find him a girl who was a complete mis-match.  She was just the opposite of her husband.  My mother and my aunt literally cried of his tragic end.  Yep, I would say getting married to an “untrained” woman would be regarded as the final tragedy to a sophisticated man like him.

He must have cried a lot too as he was very sensitive.  I wish I can find him and see how he survived in last 28 years.

I was trying to figure out the reasons of the failure of these kind of people.  May be these kind of people are too nice, can’t say no to their beloved ones, try to comfort others out of love and demand nothing in return, don’t realize that others may have a right to use them but not abuse them, allow others to ruin their lives as reward of their kindness, etc.

Why do we love to play “a one man or a one woman – show”?  Why doesn’t everyone play their part and make life pleasant for everyone, especially the one who sacrifice the most?  Isn’t it injustice?  I mean where would these kind of people file their case for justice and against whom?

Solution: These people should not trust their family (parents, siblings, spouse, children) with every penny or paisa they earn.  They should save a reasonable amount for themselves, for their own future.  They must not allow others to completely depend upon them.  They should make their family members realize that it’s not the favour but the opportunity being given to them to improve their lives.  They should not get exploited or black-mailed by those emotional theories of love, sympathy and family relations.  In practical, all these theories are conditioned with responsibility, betterment and justice.