At Home

“Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created–Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-He Who taught (the use of) the pen,-Taught man that which he knew not”…QUR’AN…SURAH AL-ALAQ 1-5

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1965 TO 1971:

I was born in the year when India attacked Pakistan and we won.  We are three sisters and two brothers.  I am the second one with a gap of six years between me and my elder sister.  My mom wasn’t highly educated.  She couldn’t even finish her junior high because of her early marriage.  She was a good learner.  She bought a book to improve her vocabulary (it had a picture of Sir Syed Ahmed Khan on it, I think my sister still has it, may be).  The book contained English words in the first column, their pronunciation in Urdu in the second column and meaning in Urdu in the third column.  She used the same book to teach us vocabulary at home.  We never saw her reading digests and romantic stuff and same were the restrictions for us, so I fell in love with Ishtiaque Ahmed’s novels for children and Imran Series.  All of us were home-schooled for Kindergarten and then were directly admitted in First Grade.  At that time the requirement for 1st Grade was only to read and write capital letters A to Z, Urdu alphabets alif to ya, reading counting one to hundred in Urdu and English.  We were taken as bright students as we could read and write short sentences in both languages and numbers one to hundred.   Taking dictation and spelling words was my mom’s  favorite activity.  These two were very beneficial techniques.  Taking dictation improves childrens’ listening skills, keeps them alert and helps them to follow directions.  I got an admission in First Grade in 1971, the year again India launched the war against us and we lost East Pakistan.

For Qur’anic learning, I went to a lady in our neighborhood and learned it the traditional way.  That lady was usually busy in her house chores and mostly we had to try lessons on our own.  No pronunciation, no personal attention, no techniques, no explanation of harakaat etc.  That was so boring and it took long time to complete the reading only.

My mom trained us to save part of our pocket money to buy little things of our own choice.  This is how we learned how to set priorities.  With limited amount of money, we had to choose the best option.  My elder sister had many friends, she was fond of making new clothes and buying rings and ear-rings.  My best option was books, all kinds of.  Very few times I got a chance to visit the library because it way very far from our house and it was hard to find somebody to go with me.  I always thought that one day I will have my own childrens’ library.  My brother loved to collect toy cars and planes.  It was because of him, we always had plenty of pets in our house; parakeets, canaries, parrots, chicks, rabbits and cats for sure.  My other brother used buy one fruit or sweet item everyday and he always shared that with us.  My youngest sister didn’t have any specific hobby until she reached 12, then she collected the coins and the key chains.

I HAD A DAUGHTER:

Married in 1987,  I had my only child born in 1991.  She was born underweight and  was infected by pre-delivery fever so I had to be extra careful with her.  At the age of 2, she was already surrounded by books and educational toys and had a desk set with story books, scribbling pad, crayons and markers.  She learned many songs and good stuff from Barney, Lamb Chop play along and Seasame Street.  To keep her in touch with Urdu language, we watched once a week Pakistani transmission and famous serials on video.  She loved tagging her drawings and photos on the bulletin board.  I used to sing her lullaby and read stories.  Mostly we were out on trip to zoos, parks or fair and carnivals.   She had to stay with my mom on Saturdays and whenever I was called on my part-time job.  In the mean time, I submitted the form for admission to finish my two year college.

Six months later, her father and I had a separation.  My part-time income wasn’t enough to pay for rent, utilities and other expenses so I contacted the HR and social security departments.  I was given two choices; they can find me a job to support myself or I can attend two-year college to finish my studies and I would get paid for food, baby-sitter for school timings and forty percent of rent.  Job was a good option though but it had more disadvantages.  First, who will take care of my daughter for 10 hours a day, five days a week, she wasn’t even 3 and needed my full attention?  Second, even if I find someone to baby-sit for her, at the end of the day, I’ll be so tired that I won’t pay her proper attention.  Third, I would never find time to finish college.  Fourth, how will manage for her home-schooling and Islamic learning as I planned.

My form was already submitted but couldn’t get the full financial aid because of my marital status.  For that reason I had to miss couple of semesters for the and finished the college in two and half years.  Only for couple of months she attended the Honey Bunch Day Care.  Then I changed the schedule to evening classes so my daughter would have other family members too beside my mom.  Another reason was my frequent change of residence due to high rent.

I was happy for few reasons; I got my degree and a chance to spend a quality time with my daughter.  She knew my books by color and pictures.  To meet the expenditures, I tried jewelry making and assembling cosmetic products at home, which my daughter also enjoyed very much.  It wasn’t only two of us but our parakeet, fish and a red ear turtle also made our life pleasant.

A BLESSED CHILD:

Good thing about my daughter was that she wasn’t a cranky type and never gave me a hard time.  She was born mature and had a strong smelling-sense, especially of Chinses Marts.  Any kind of food, places, traditional or non-traditional clothes, bangles, mehndi, shoes, nursery rhymes, songs, national songs, all TV programs, all movies, relatives, friends, everything in the world was fine for her.  Not only Barney and Urdu songs but she danced on Madam’s Punjabi melodies too.  Her favorite activity at Flushing Meadow Park Zoo was to feed the farm animals.  My friend Alicia made her watch the videos of American History, about the Indians and the civil war and the Prophets.  At the age of ten, she enjoyed watching “Diagnoses Murder”.  Once we spent the whole week watching Urdu serial “Jinnah say Quaid tak” (from Jinnah to Quaid) and “Nishan-e-Haider, Major Tufail Shaheed.  Very friendly with the cousins of her age, she was very bossy to the younger ones.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS AT HOME:

Learning how to read Qur’an properly is the first step towards Qur’anic understanding.  In our country, majority of children spend years in learning how to read Qur’an and once they are done in five, six, ten or twelve years, they are still not good at explaining what rules they are following while reading.  Instead of taking a nap after spending six or seven crazy hours at school, children have to wait for maulvi sahab.

Speaking of my own personal experience, children must complete their Qur’an recitation before their regular schooling.  My daughter completed her Qur’an recitation in eighteen months, she started at four and finished at five and half.

She started with Urdu Qaidah at the age of three and half.  In six months she knew the letters, vocabulary and how to spell easy words.

She got enough time to memorize last 28 Surahs, ninety-nine names of Allah (SWT) with meaning, first three Kalimahs and short invocations.  She learned the Arabic poems and vocabulary from the Adam’s World video series and audios.

Along with that, she could read story books in English, she knew the suggested Maths curriculum for KG plus simple addition.

The money that I saved by putting her on home-schooling was spent on books, art supplies, stationary, videos and audios and educational toys.  Almost every weekend, I took her out to the zoos, beaches, amusement parks, aquarium or enjoyed family gatherings or family trips.

She followed a strict time schedule on weekdays.  At nine, she was in the bed to get her nine hour sleep so she can wake up fresh early in the morning and enjoy her one hour long breakfast while watching TV.

At the age of six, she got the admission in 1st Grade in an Islamic school.  As she already knew the basics, her Islamic knowledge was upgraded there.  Instead of learning Qur’an after school, she had time to focus on her studies.  On weekends, she helped me in the mosque teaching Qaidah to other children.

Few years later, I got the job to teach KG.  I redesigned the school curriculum and added Islamic learning as the essential part of their course.  I taught Qur’an according to the lesson planning, one hour everyday to the batch of eighteen students, the result was amazing.  Surely with the help of their parents, two four-year old students completed their Qur’an in ten months.  Another one was admitted early at the age of three and half finished her recitation in ten months and in next two months, she memorized the whole 30th part.  Her parents were amazing.  They belonged to Deccan, India.  With three kids, mother was a doctor, father a businessman and they still got time for their children.  Rest of the students finished their syllabus accordingly.

The point is that…..in the current situation…..to improve the system to provide with quality education…..in a short period of time…..parents will have to take the initiative….. they will have to change their thinking, their behavior and their lifestyle…… for better future of their children and better Pakistan.

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WORLD BEYOND AMERICA:

1997-My daughter’s first Islamic school was run by Shia management and luckily her class teacher in first Grade was an Iranian old lady, very disciplined, well-experienced and bookish type.  In Second Grade she went to a Sunni school run by Salafi school of thought.  There she picked the beautiful Arabic accent and built her Arabic vocabulary.  The credit goes to her teacher from Morocco, just like Alicia, Hannan was also an inspiration for me.  On weekends, we were busy at mosques teaching children Qur’an.  I was actually trying to figure out the ways and techniques to make Qur’anic reading and understanding fast and easy for children.  And if we can combine the two curriculum (Islamic and regular) at Kindergarten level without over burdening the little minds.

Summer 1999 was very busy, exciting and tiring.  I planned for my second visit since my last and only trip to Pakistan in the year 87.  For my daughter, it was her first chance to see the world beyond America.  July 4-6, three-day ICNA convention and then in the second week of August, three-day Islamic convention by Tanzeem-e-Islami in Chicago, the next day we flew to Jeddah on a fifteen-day visit to perform Umrah.  Saudi Arab was a totally different environment for her, especially the bathrooms–no commodes except in the hotels.  She loved the place anyway.  That was a pleasure for me to see her running between Safa and Marwah with the spirit of Hazrat Hajra, showering herself with ZamZam, all time alert for prayers in Makkah and Madinah and for fresh pomegranate juice and ice-cream.  Good thing was that she didn’t complain about the hot weather.  Next stop was Islamabad via Karachi and Rawalpindi, a week in every city and finally Qur’an Academy in Lahore.

My First Time in Punjab: I was always eager to visit this green province of Pakistan.  During our ten-month stay, we traveled around to explore the villages, one at the distance of two hours drive from Lahore and the other one was an hour far from Sargodha.  The people of Punjab were so lively, wake up at Fajr, go for morning walk, men open business early morning, women get busy in their houses chores, they enjoy eating seasonal fruits and vegetables, they love and believe in planting, they enjoy extreme weathers.  And for these reasons I fell in love with them.

In Lahore, she attended a school for couple of months but couldn’t adjust there as she found it very loud and boring.  One day she came home in anger telling me that she won’t go to school anymore and explained how a teacher beat one student in five steps- first she grabbed his collar, moved him hard to left and right, then slapped him on his faced and pushed him back.  I understood her point and she didn’t really miss a lot.  My mom was there to take care of her.  During my class hours, she was found wandering in the Academy, playing with hens and chicks and with the children residing in and around the premises.  She bought a lot of drawing, coloring and sketching books.  Not a waste of time, she picked a little Punjabi accent and developed her Urdu speaking.  At nights, I used to read her the series of Urdu books about the rulers of India and freedom fighters, she still has them.  We didn’t have TV so I bought a Sony pocket radio to listen to the songs, my daughter loved Ghulam Ali’s “chupkay chupkay raat din” and Jawad Ahmed’s “kendi-e-sayyiyan”.  She celebrated the Ramadan like true holidays.

I didn’t want to but I had to fly back for some strange reasons.  I promised myself that one day I will come back.

2000-2002 was the toughest time in all these years.  First, I had spent all my savings, lost the residence and the job.  Second, half of my family had moved to Oregon.  Third, nine-eleven caused fear and change in attitudes.  After a break of one year, my daughter went to a public school in Oregon for four months.  Then back to New York, she joined an Islamic school for Fourth and Fifth Grade.  Her academic performance was excellent.  On Saturdays, we volunteered in a local mosque to help children with Islamic knowledge.  We also set up a small library there.  Sundays 10 am to 12pm, we helped a group of Bangladeshi ladies in reading Qur’an.

Highway to Heaven: People call it a big mistake, I don’t.  In 2002, we landed at Lahore Airport (now Allama Iqbal Airport) on the date my daughter was born.  That was a good sign for me.  In a month or so we moved to Islamabad and lived there for two years.  The Institute of Arabic Language (a madrassah) played a very effective role in her religious upbringing.  Although she was underage for the two-year course but they accepted her for having strong base in Arabic language and Qur’an as per their requirement.  Again academically, she performed well and improved both Urdu and Arabic reading and writing along with Islamic understanding.  The madrassah environment was moderate and very playful for her age.  The principal of the institute refused to keep her there for further studies.  He said that he can’t until she passes her matriculation.  So for a change I decided to move to Karachi.  We didn’t get a chance to go back to Islamabad but we really miss the capital, it was like a heaven for us.  The best thing that I personally enjoyed in those two years was to organize the entire course data into a form of single chart.  A week before my daughter’s final exams, I collected all the books that she was given in two years, listed down their topics and put them into order under the category they belong to.  This chart can serve like a curriculum and would help teacher to do lesson planning on weekly or bi-weekly basis.  Only if any of the religious minds would know what I’m talking about.  The sad thing is that they don’t care about it.

Cruel Schooling: She had missed regular schooling for Six and Seventh Grades but it caused no problem in her admission in Eighth Grade.  At KCS, she was the best student in her class, best in almost all subjects.  School van picked her up at six in the morning and dropped her at five in the evening.  She was out for eleven hours.  The whole year, we ate combined meal, lunch and dinner between 5:30 and 6:00.  Then it was her homework time.  Her bedtime was at 9:00 as she had to wake up at five to get ready for her dawn-departure.  For me, it was a crazy schedule with no life for her.  Education is not supposed to be a burden on anyone.  Traveling by school van, by public transportation, pollution and people’s attitude were a big trial for her.  She couldn’t cope with them for too long.  By the end of the year, I figured out that I spent too much money on her schooling for no reason.  She was exhausted.  Finally, for these and few other reasons, I put her back on home-schooling.

At home, she got a laptop and learned typing, studied for her ninth and tenth board exams, did after school tutoring for couple of children, enjoyed TV, drawing and dress designing.  I had to sit with her to organize the information so she can understand it easily.  Summer 2007, a three and half month long trip to US all by herself boosted her up with excitement.  Back from the trip, she was really in a mood to study the next two years of Intermediate (high school) on her own.  She came back with an idea that if she and her aunt can collaborate their talent and efforts to do something at home.  I had no objection, simply agreed to help these two entrepreneurs.  This is their third year and I hope that they won’t give up.

After her intermediate, she got enough time to surf websites.  Last year, she started writing at Ankahi.tv, arranged a little summer program at home for neighborhood children, attended few workshops organized by Personality Quotient and now she has her own blogs at wordpress and blogspot.

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